fyuchicago:

*This article was written in the late 90s, so take it with a grain of salt. -FYUC

By Tucker Max, AB ‘98, of I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell infamy

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We should just admit the obvious. The student body at the University of Chicago is ugly. And it’s only getting worse—I’m graduating in the spring [1998].

Our motto should be “The University of Chicago-The School That Beauty Forgot.” Think of the possibilities. The admissions office could sell this school as the perfect place for every ugly nerd across the country. I can only imagine the new theme for the admissions viewbook-“Are you the Ugly Duckling who never blossomed? Do small children clutch at their mother’s legs in terror when you draw near? Do your friends make you wear a mask in order to hang out with them? Was your nickname ‘The Hunchback of AP Calc?’ WE HAVE THE SCHOOL FOR YOU!! Come hang out with every other ugly nerd around the country!! You may be ugly, but so are we!!”

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